Brenton
AhmedWays to say I love you
September 1st 2008 13:03
It seems simple enough. However things often seem that way on the outside.
Something that helped me out a lot was something I read a while ago. There are, in general, four ways people express love to each other. Words, time, touch and gifts. (I don’t know where I first got this – I found it HERE recently but don’t know the first source).
This helped me because it allowed me to realise that just because two people express love in different ways, does not mean the source of their demonstration is different in any way.
The most important thing, in any type of communication, in any relationship, is absolute clarity. Don’t mess around. Avoid ambiguity. If you want to say ‘I love you,’ say those words. If you want to give a gift, be confident in what you give. If it feels natural to touch your partner, allow yourself (unless they dislike it, or are sunburnt or something… or on a ladder… no cuddles on a ladder please…) If you’re tying to spend time with your partner, make that clear that you want to. And if you’re not ready for any of the above, you’ll save a lot of heartbreak by just saying so.
Be comfortable communicating your love in your own style. Just because your partner likes to express their love through touch or gifts, doesn’t mean you have to respond likewise if it’s unnatural. Of course it’s nice to do all four of the above sometimes. However don’t start going quid pro quo on every gift or expression of love, or the whole business develops an air of insincerity.
Ultimately, try to listen to yourself and your partner, and do what feels right, remembering that people express themselves in different, and confusing ways.
IMAGE
Something that helped me out a lot was something I read a while ago. There are, in general, four ways people express love to each other. Words, time, touch and gifts. (I don’t know where I first got this – I found it HERE recently but don’t know the first source).
This helped me because it allowed me to realise that just because two people express love in different ways, does not mean the source of their demonstration is different in any way.
The most important thing, in any type of communication, in any relationship, is absolute clarity. Don’t mess around. Avoid ambiguity. If you want to say ‘I love you,’ say those words. If you want to give a gift, be confident in what you give. If it feels natural to touch your partner, allow yourself (unless they dislike it, or are sunburnt or something… or on a ladder… no cuddles on a ladder please…) If you’re tying to spend time with your partner, make that clear that you want to. And if you’re not ready for any of the above, you’ll save a lot of heartbreak by just saying so.
Be comfortable communicating your love in your own style. Just because your partner likes to express their love through touch or gifts, doesn’t mean you have to respond likewise if it’s unnatural. Of course it’s nice to do all four of the above sometimes. However don’t start going quid pro quo on every gift or expression of love, or the whole business develops an air of insincerity.
Ultimately, try to listen to yourself and your partner, and do what feels right, remembering that people express themselves in different, and confusing ways.
IMAGE
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